On a previous occasion, when I attended a session with a bodyworker friend (a Rolfer), I was asked about my intention for the session. I remember saying, “I wish to become capable of losing my balance.” Typically, clients seek to optimize their skeletal structure and relationship with gravity to achieve balance, so my desire to become capable of losing it seemed to genuinely surprise them. This wasn't said out of mischief; I truly yearned to be able to intentionally disrupt my own equilibrium.
After 15 years immersed in bodywork, one naturally strives to maintain balance in daily life without disruption. The experience of regaining my own balance is invaluable to my clients, which I consider a fundamental requirement for any bodyworker. However, if this state of continuous equilibrium persists, one eventually stops trying to intentionally disrupt their own balance. This, in itself, can restrict actions and lead to a sense of confinement. I believe that true balance isn't about perpetually maintaining a 'good' state, but rather about gaining the freedom to consciously choose between a 'good' state and a 'not-so-good' one.
Why Are We Unable to Change?
We construct our sense of self by accumulating experiences gleaned from education and our environment. We then seek to 'update' ourselves by reading self-help books or attending seminars. Yet, do you not sometimes feel that these updates aren't as profound as you'd hoped? While self-help books and seminars often present the successful patterns of their authors or instructors, which may not align with one's unique journey, some individuals find that their motivation is only temporarily boosted. Despite learning remarkable things, after just a few attempts, they prematurely conclude it's 'not for them.' Ultimately, the inability to change, even when desired, often stems from not knowing how to "unmake" oneself.
To "unmake" oneself is not to disappear. It is an act of creative destruction. With such drastic shifts occurring in society and our environment, clinging to past versions of ourselves, bound by "I must..." or "I have to...", is akin to choosing not to adapt. This only amplifies suffering. I believe that embracing the power to transform oneself by surrendering to the flow, rather than relentlessly clinging to who you once were, is the true art of living with ease.
It is the natural order for those unable to adapt to their environment to be eliminated. Desperately clinging to the same chair, even when you realize its legs are broken or decaying, and pretending not to notice, will eventually reach its limit. There are so many inviting chairs around; it seems far better to learn to gracefully hop and enjoy exploring various seating options.
The Body's Wisdom: How to "Unmake" Yourself
How, then, does one "unmake" the self that has been so carefully constructed? While it might feel impossible, people can change at any moment. Furthermore, it's not as difficult as it seems. The forms that have been expressed in the body over a long period need only begin to spontaneously shift.
At Unfolding Bodywork, we support this spontaneous transformation of the body. As your form changes, the constraints that once bound you will dissolve, initiating a profound metamorphosis. A session of this bodywork will serve as your catalyst to leap from the old chair and embark upon a new narrative.